January 6 - Day +6
Main Entry: pain
Pronunciation: ‘pAn
Function: noun
1 a : a state of physical, emotional, or mental lack of well-being or physical, emotional, or mental uneasiness that ranges from mild discomfort or dull distress to acute often unbearable agony, may be generalized or localized, and is the consequence of being injured or hurt physically or mentally or of some derangement of or lack of equilibrium in the physical or mental functions (as through disease), and that usually produces a reaction of wanting to avoid, escape, or destroy the causative factor and its effects
I now know what pain is. I thought I had experienced it before. I was wrong.
If some of you have not guessed already days +3 through +5 were pretty rough on me. Hence .. no updates to the journal.
My counts bottomed out on Sunday or Monday and it just went downhill from there. I did not have nausea or anything just constant stomach cramps. I also became highly sensitive to noise. So certain things would set me off .. the phone, the beeping of my IV pump, people talking. Of course I am way to stubborn to ask for anything.
- WBC: < 0.1
- HCT: 28
- PLTS: 6
- ANC: 0
Because of how I was feeling I had put a restriction on my visitors. So I know alot of people that wanted to visit were asked not to. I am very sorry about that. Some people had shown up over the last couple days and their timing was just right. I had an hour or so where I felt normal and the visits were a nice surprise.
- Darcie, Tim, Mackenzie, and Connor
- John F.
- Karina & Stephanie (hope you got your Garbage Plate!)
- Martha G. (Go JETS!)
My wife is the most amazing person I will ever know. She is selfless, compassionate, and just doesn’t take any crap from anyone. I do not think I was very pleasant to her these last couple of days. Even knowing how miserable and mean I was this week she took off work to be with me everyday because she knew having her here made me feel alot better. I worry everyday that I push her too far or ask too much of her. I have read many horror stories where a person’s spouse left because of their illness. No matter how much I push or pull she always seems to give me that look, “Is that all you got?” I am very thankful that she is such an Ass-Kicker. 
I am the luckiest.
The nurses and techs here in the 8-1200 wing are amazing. I just hope I was not mean to them either this week. I have to remember they’re helping to save my life. Sometimes with all the unpleasantries I lose sight of that.
It’s early right now 5:50am and I feel pretty good. Hopefully, this trend will continue for today.
Update: (4:12pm) I must say this is the best day I have had in here. I have been for a couple of walks. Snuck a couple bites of PIZZA! Yummy! And just really enjoyed my wife’s company today. I actually smiled and laughed at one point today. Hopefully things will keep getting better.
Also, I still have NO MOUTH SORES .. zip ..ziltch ..zero .. and now that we have my cramping figured out it is almost non-existent. They think I may have been dehydrated the last couple of days.
Well that’s it for now …
