This is just a quick note until I have time to write more about the experience.

Thanks!
Shan

My health just seems to be getting better and better as my gut seems to be getting bigger and bigger. It seems I have put on some 22 pounds since our trip to Texas. I know what will fix this, but I just can’t seem to make myself ride my bike in the basement. It just seems silly to sit there and pedal nowhere.

Life was starting to wind down for Carrie and I. It was almost starting to seem normal and then something amazing happened …

This is so huge I just do not know where to start … or how much of it I am allowed to write about online so I will give the short version.

I have known for quite some time (10 years) that I had 6 older siblings. Their names are John, Mark, David, Steve, Paul, and Cyndi. My Mom has not seen her kids for over 40 years. She had to give them all up for adoption. The amazing thing is that these children were all adopted by the SAME family. Not all at once, but one by one this family tracked the children down and adopted them. So they were able to grow up together. (Bear with me because this is the VERY simple version)

Now I had promised my Mom that someday I would find her children for her. I have been searching off and on over the years and just never turned anything up. I could not afford to hire an investigator and neither could my parents. So I would give up and then retry again in another year or so. Well this month (February) I found out the name of the man my Mom married when she came to the US. I had never had that bit of information. So the following day I entered that name into Google and I got one hit. My brother Paul had put an information page up on Adoption.com. It had all the information I had known RIGHT THERE!

At this point I could not believe my eyes. I printed that page out and did the search again. Google returned hundreds of hits this time, but Paul’s page was not there. I ran to the printer and looked over what I had printed out. I went back to Adoption.com and found Paul’s page again. This time I signed up on Adoption.com’s forums and made a post in their discussion forums (READ POST).

I kept the post simple, but wasn’t really sure anyone would see it. Paul made his information page in 2000 so it was already 6 years old. Luckily an investigator on the forums (Mackie) saw my post and was intrigued by it. This person did a little digging and was able to find my sister’s married name. Don’t ask me how they found that out because I still don’t know. This person emailed me and said they had sent an email to Cyndi, but did not get an answer back. The investigator said since her name & address is publically listed in the phone book that they could legally give the phone number to me. I hesitated all of about 60 seconds that Saturday morning and called the number …

Now in my excitement I did not realize there was a two hour time difference between where I live and where Cyndi lives. It was 9:30am my time which meant it was 7:30am their time. Luckily, my sister’s family are early risers!

I was not sure how they would react to me so I blocked my number. My Mom has had a VERY hard time emotionally and physically these last 40 years because of all the guilt and pain she has carried. I did not want my siblings to know where I was at first. I am very over protective of my Mom. I wanted to make sure that these were indeed them at that they were not going to hurt my Mom. It seems kind of silly to think that, but you have to understand … I am VERY OVER PROECTIVE of my Mom.

So .. where was I .. Oh yeah .. so the phone is ringing and I am trying to think of what I am going to say. A man answers the phone and I almost hung up, but I kept it together and asked if Cyndi was there. He sounded a little cautious on the phone .. probably because I was a new voice he had never heard before … he said she was home, but just heading out the door .. then he asked “May I ask who is calling?” I am not exactly sure what I said, but I think it went something like this.

Me: “Is Cyndi home?”
Monte: “She is on her way out. May I ask who is calling?”
Me: “Umm .. Uhh .. My name is Shannon. I can’t give you my last name right now, but I believe that Cyndi and I have the same birth mother..”
Monte: “Really?”

Now from the tone in his voice I get the feeling he thinks I am joking or something. So he asks me a couple of questions. I can’t even remember what those were, but then he said,”Please don’t hang up .. I think Cyndi is going to want to talk to you …”

I was terrified. I almost hung up. I can only imagine what Cyndi was feeling like as her husband handed her the phone. She got on the phone and she even had more questions for me. It was so heart wrenching. Her and her five brothers thought Mom wasn’t alive anymore. I told her Mom is alive and well as were me and my younger brother. Cyndi was like wait a minute … Did Mom raise YOU and a younger brother?!? I nervously said yes and she said my Mom’s alive and I have TWO YOUNGER brothers?!?

We talked some more and I just felt an instant connection with her. I cannot explain the bond that is there. I explained to her that Mom did not know I had found them yet and that I would like to talk to as many as I could before I told Mom. I was worried about how my Mom would take this news. I was worried the news would kill her. Looking back that seems silly, but as I said I am very protective of my Mom.

So that day was Saturday February 11, 2006. A day I will never forget. I was able to talk to a few of my brothers in the next couple days and I explained to them our situation and why I was a little cautious. They said they understood which made me relax a whole lot. I thought this process was going to take months or weeks, but I ended up telling my Mom just five days later. My Dad was just as excited as my Mom. We have not seen my Mom this happy in a long, long time.

Mom has since been able to talk to five of the six children and it has been going very well. I know this is just the beginning of a wonderful journey. I know there will be ups and downs along the way, but what good is life if it is boring and predictable. There is a lot of healing that needs to happen in my family. We had grown apart over the years. I am hoping that this event brings us all closer together. Only time will tell, but I am looking forward to story that unfolds …

(Please forgive me .. this is a pretty watered down version of the events that have transpired. I think I could write a book on just this alone. As I have time to take all this in I will write more about it. I am still trying to process it all. I hope to have some photos of them up soon. I just need to get their permission first)

It just seems surreal. Last year we were fighting for our life wondering if we would get to this point. Now, we’re looking back wondering how we got through it all. It’s hard to believe that a whole year has gone by and we are still cancer free.

We’ve done alot this year to help bring awareness to the cancer fight … from riding locally in the annual Ride For Your Life event, traveling to Texas to participate in the Lance Armstrong Foundation’s Ride for the Roses event, to lending our story to the Wilmot Cancer Center for the annual Breakfast Buzz Christmas Spectacular.

What will 2006 bring? Hopefully more cycling and more chances to get the word out about how important the fight against cancer is. Last year at this time we committed to the LAF and the Ride for the Roses. This year we are committing to the Wilmot Cancer Center. I don’t think enough people realize the resource we have for fighting cancer right in our own backyard.

Lastly, I want to thank my wife Carrie for being with me these last three years. I cannot express to all of you how important it was for my well being and survival to have her love and support through all this. I believe that had I not had it all the chemo and radiation in the world would not have helped me. She was the reason I fought and is the reason I am here today. She is the reason I LiveSTRONG.

I can only imagine what life is like for the caretakers that are in our situation now. Cancer, Chemo, and Radiation are hard, but to have to sit there and watch your loved one go through it and still manage to keep your lives together has got to be just as harsh (if not worse). My advice? Talk. Tell each other how you feel. Listen to one another. Realize that this is just as hard on them as it is you. You are not alone in this fight. Take advantage of whatever resources your treatment center can offer you (counseling, volunteers, etc).

We wish all of you a safe and Happy New Year.

Dr. Friedberg was extremely pleased with how I looked and felt. He said after the 1 year mark (Dec 31) that my chances of a relapse drop to about 20%.

We’ll run with those odds. Although I think Carrie and I really have accepted the fact that it is gone for good.

We also lent our story to 98.9 The Buzz Radio. They will be raising money for the Wilmot Cancer Center at their annual Breakfast Buzz Christmas Spectacular on December 23, 2005 from 6am – Noon this year.

More information can be found by clicking the image below:

Carrie and I felt honored because the Wilmot Cancer Center only chose 7 people to share their stories and we were lucky enough to be one of them. I hope my story inspires people to donate that day. The Wilmot Cancer Center is really on the cutting edge for Cancer Research (Lymphoma and other blood cancer types).

So in case it is not apparent in the above words …

I AM STILL CANCER FREE!

I have been irritable, depressed, and have just had a general sense of malaise. I catch myself constantly prodding my neck, underarms and shoulders area wondering, “Is that a lump? Is it really sore there or I am just thinking too much?” It’s exhausting.

I wonder if some of it is just my body displaying its displeasure at the fact that I have stopped biking. I have every intention of biking indoors this year, but have yet to set up the bike. Because of this I have packed on a whopping TEN POUNDS. This will more than likely make my Oncologist happy because I have not been putting on weight like he was hoping.

I remain fairly positive that my cancer is gone this time and I don’t think there is anything cancer can throw at me that I cannot beat into submission, but no matter how confident I am these “checkups” seem to rattle me to my very core.

I cannot tell you how NICE it is to not get CHEMO on my birthday for once. It has happened the last two years.

Oh yeah .. today is my 37th birthday!

Carrie and I have just been spending some time together. I did not want to do anything crazy this year for my birthday. I just wanted to spend some quality time with her.

We ended up going to The Windmill saturday morning with Carrie’s parents. Saturday evening we went to the new Chicago Uno’s in Webster with my parents.

We had a really great time both places! We even saw Anita & Rick Dibble AND Tyler & Jill Sweeting. So it turned out to be a really great night.

Sunday Carrie and I just hung out. We went to CompUSA to buy some Drive Trays for my PC. Carrie also picked up Quake 4 for me!! After CompUSA we headed to Pittsford and had a quick bite to eat and then hung out for awhile at Barnes and Noble. There I picked up the new Wheel of Time book: Knife of Dreams!! I have been waiting a LONG time for this book to come out. I also picked up a new book: Dies the Fire by S.M. Stirling. So far it is a good book.

Tonight we’re going out to dinner and possibly a movie.

I have to say this is the best birthday I have had in a long time. Not that the last two birthdays were bad … I just did not feel that great.

I just wanted to say how much I love my wife. She is my bestfriend. I could not imagine my life without her nor do I want to. Just being with her this weekend and not really doing anything was possibly the best present I could have received. There were no doctor appointments to worry about, no chemo drugs to take, no anti-nausea medicine to administer, and no cancer to beat. Life was normal for a change.

Thank you Carrie for making my birthday so special. I love you.

Since I won’t be at work and I will be in the hospital on my birthday the people at work decided to take me out to lunch (Pizza Hut!) and they got a cake for me afterwards.

Mary (our resident director of non-sense) sang to me and attempted to give me a lap dance!

I just wanted to thank every one at work for making today alot of fun and special.

I consider myself very lucky to work for a company where you get treated like family.

The four of us (My wife Carrie, and our friends Pete & Brenda) arrived on Thursday in Austin, Texas to a record high temperature of 90 degrees!

Here is a look out our hotel window. We stayed at the Woodward Hotel.

Friday morning we decided to head over to the LiveSTRONG Village in the Palmer Events Center.

We checked out the various vendor displays, bought some goodies, and then headed back to our hotel to rest up for the Peloton Appreciation Dinner.

We arrived at the Peloton Appreciation Dinner to the sound of Cowboys playing guitars …

Here is a blurry photo of one of the items up for bid in the silent auction.

A look around the outside area….

A photo of me …

Inside the dining building …

A VERY blurry photo of George Hincapie …

Robin Williams! I took that photo from my dining seat. Carrie almost was able to get her photo taken with him. His handler swept him away once the crowd got a little big. Mr. Williams seemed very personable though. We always saw him chatting with people here and there.

Lance and friends having dinner …

This next photo is of Kevin and Kathy. Both of them are cancer survivors. I found Kevin’s page on the LAF site and noticed that he lived in the town I grew up in. So on a whim I tracked him down and called and suggested that we try to ride together on Sunday. We met for the first time at the Peloton Appreciate Dinner. I was very glad that I contacted them.

My best friend (Carrie my wife) and I. I couldn’t imagine anyone else sharing this experience with me.

Since I have alot of photos to resize I am just going to put a link directly to the images …

LiveSTRONG Village & Peloton Appreciation Dinner

Gruene, Texas & LAF Mission Event

2005 Ride for the Roses!

I rode 74 miles in 5 Hours and 6 Minutes and raised $10,490!!!

So I just wanted to take the time today and say ….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOB!

You really mean ALOT to Carrie and I.

Love,
Shannon